My best wishes to readers of this blog for a happy 2007!!



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"Notes On A Scandal" Is Scandalous: A Brief Film Review

The Lesbian is the bad guy in this British-accented, hence "high-brow," "Fatal Attraction."

Pass.

Forget the Palestinians! Save the Desert!

You can oppose the wall Israel is building even if you don't give a hoot about the Palestinians. It's bad for the environment and it is destroying the desert. What desert, you ask? Well, those early Zionist pioneers who "made the desert bloom" apparently missed a small part which is now being "cultivated" by the "lethal wall."

What Went Wrong?

(thanks Terry)

"Unproductive But Seductive"

There were no posts yesterday because I spent the day in Philadelphia at a conference, where I got together with some old friends and made new ones. Usually at these conferences, the best conversations take place at the margins--away from the official panels and lectures, and yesterday was no exception. Even when the conversations are "unproductive," they remain, in the words of a friend, "seductive" (hat tip to Nouri).

Sort of like blogging.

One productive conversation I had was the day before with a New York City taxi driver. This city's taxi drivers, the immigrant variety in particular, are full of surprises. You never know what you will get. Hailing a taxi reminds you of what unwrapping a Christmas present used to feel like before the age of the Amazon.com wish list.

Because the driver of this cab had the new anthology of Arabic fiction lying on the front seat, I assumed he was an Arab (why would I assume that when the book is in English I have no idea!) "I know Arabic, but I'm not Arab," he said. When I asked him where he was from, he evaded me. Eventually, I learned that he was Sudanese. He identified as an African. He talked about Arab nationalism, Africa, the Islamist government in Sudan, the tribal leaders, his brother who was assassinated in 1996, and his mother and father who were still in Sudan. I mostly asked questions, and he was articulate but not bitter. He was interested in a solution and disappointed that the Sudanese government is uninterested in finding one.

He did say he liked Sudanese writer Al Tayeb Salih's novel Season of Migration to the North.

He gave me much to think about, more than the Arab press reporting on Sudan ever did. Which is amazing, considering what a short cab ride it was.

How Bad Was 2006?

Haaretz reports:

"According to an annual B'Tselem report, from the beginning of 2006 to December 27, Israeli security forces have killed 660 Palestinians, a figure more than three times the number of Palestinians killed in 2005, which was 197.

The data compiled by the human rights organization also indicated a significant decrease in Israeli casualties. Palestinians killed 23 Israelis in 2006 - 17 civilians, among them one minor, and six Israel Defense Forces soldiers. The figure constitutes less than half of the 50 Israelis killed in 2005.

B'Tselem also listed the overall figures for casualties since the beginning of the intifada, with Palestinian casualties at 4005 and Israeli casualties at 1017, 701 of which were civilians.....
According to the report, about half of the Palestinians killed, 322, did not take part in the hostilities at the time they were killed. 22 of those killed were targets of assassinations, and 141 were minors.

The report says the majority of Palestinian casualties were killed in the Gaza Strip in the second half of 2006, following the capture of IDF Corporal Gilad Shalit. During this period, 405 Palestinians were killed in the Gaza Strip alone, of them 88 were minors and 205 did not take part in the hostilities at the time they were killed.

According to the report, the IDF demolished 292 Palestinian houses, 95 percent of them in the Gaza Strip. These were home to 1,769 people.

B'Tselem's report says the owners of 80 of the homes received advance warning to the demolition. Israel demolished 42 additional homes in East Jerusalem that were built without a permit. These were home to about 80 people, according to the report.

The report indicates that movement restrictions in the West Bank became more severe in 2006. Israel currently maintains 54 permanent checkpoints in the West Bank that are usually staffed, and 12 other checkpoints within the city of Hebron.

According to the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, there is an average of 160 flying checkpoints throughout the West Bank every week.
In addition to the checkpoints, the report says IDF has erected hundreds of physical obstacles such as concrete blocks, dirt piles and trenches to restrict access to and from Palestinian communities. Palestinians have restricted access to 41 roadways in the West Bank, to which Israelis have unlimited access.

According to the report, as of November, Israel held 9,075 Palestinians in custody, including 345 minors. Of these, 738, including 22 minors, were held in administrative detention without trial and with no knowledge of the charges against them."

And they year is not over yet!

Is Julia Boutros Banned From Al Manar?

Of course by now everybody has seen Julia Boutros's video clip of her song"Ahiba'i" (My Loved Ones), the words of which were written by Ghassan Matar and taken from one of Hasan Nasrallah's speeches during the war with Israel last summer.

I say everybody must have seen it unless they only watch Hizbollah channel Al Manar. For although Hizbollah people like the song and must have officially given their tacit approval, they do not air it on their TV.

I wonder why?

Is Julia not covered enough? According to this article (in Arabic), Al Manar has recently started showing unveiled female guests who are modestly dressed, but not unveiled announcers. So Julia should pass. Her body is fully covered with a black robe and her hair is the only thing showing.

Or could it be that singing is not allowed?

I wonder what Julia herself think of all this? Or maybe she's too busy singing on the Hizbollah's bandwagon to think?

Praying in Cordoba

"Spanish Muslims have written to the Vatican to demand the right to worship at Cordoba Cathedral. Spain's Islamic Board wrote to Pope Benedict XVI on Tuesday, calling on him to grant them permission to worship in the cathedral, parts of which were built as a mosque during Spain's period of Islamic rule.

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"The group said in their letter: "What we wanted was not to take over that holy place, but to create in it, together with you and other faiths, an ecumenical space unique in the world which would have been of great significance in bringing peace to humanity...

"The Roman Catholic cathedral had originally been a mosque but was converted into a cathedral in the 13th century.

"The mosque itself was built on the site of the earlier cathedral of St Vincent which was demolished by Cordoba's Muslim rulers following the Islamic invasion and occupation of parts of southern Spain in the eight century."

I don't think the world is ready for this much religious mingling yet. Maybe in another millennium.

Also as Muslims and Arabs we should just really get over the loss of Al Andalus and move on. If we keep obsessing about Al Andalus and our glory days we risk missing on all the recent losses we've been enjoying. Do I need name some?

Hass: "The New Refugees"

"More than ever before, the Israeli system today denies the fact that it is repression and discrimination, an integral part of every occupation, that create the security threat. The most it is prepared to do is make "improvements" and mete out "favors," but it will not recognize rights," concludes Amira Hass on the Israeli policy of deporting Palestinians.

Cartoon: Holiday Facilitations

From Al Ayyam

Sexual Harassment Is About Sexism not Sex

Here's one more article about why sexual harassment seems to be on the increase in Egypt. No body denies it was always part of the Egyptian urban, landscape, but men seem to be getting "ruder," as the writer of this piece put it.

We can discuss how dictatorship, unemployment, sexual repression, religious discourse, Internet porn, Alissa, Nancy, and Haifa, the veil or the blue jeans contribute to this sorry phenomenon. But let us not use these factors to obscure what the root cause of sexual harassment is: SEXISM.

Yes, sexual harassment is not about sex but about sexism. It's about power, overwhelmingly of men over women (and children and weaker men). It has one aim only: to humiliate.

So can we talk about that for a change?

Violence Against Algerian Women

A new official Algerian study concluded that 54% of Algerian women suffer from violence (defined as physical 6%, verbal 25%, and emotional 22%).

أفادت دراسة رسمية أن حوالي 54% من الجزائريات يتعرضن لمختلف أنواع العنف. واعتبرت الوزارة المنتدبة للأسرة وقضايا المرأة أن نتائج الدراسة تدعو إلى "مضاعفة الجهود لتغيير بعض التصرفات والممارسات".

وجاء في هذه الدراسة التي أجرتها هيئة رسمية بالاشتراك مع الوزارة المنتدبة للأسرة وقضايا المرأة، أن أكثر من 25% من أعمال العنف التي تتعرض لها النساء, لفظية, و22% معنوية و6% جسدية.

The Smell of "Divine Victory"

A new perfume is being sold in Lebanon called "Resistance." Buy a bottle and you get a picture of Hasan Nasrallah and a sinking Israeli ship, along with this slogan: "You are the truthful promise ... and I have great faith in you and I promise you divine victory" from one of his speeches during last summer war with Israel.

It's a unisex perfume but is mostly popular with men.

While this is not a Hizbullah official product, the party has not discouraged selling it. I'm sure they don't mind anything that contributes to the personality cult of Hasan Nasrallah.

Can't wait to see what they will sell next.

Made in Israel: "Voluntary Transfer"

"A petition to the High Court of Justice heard Monday states that the Israel Defense Forces has offered to "voluntarily transfer" the residents of two villages in the West Bank, in order to avoid disruption over the route of the separation fence . . .The term "voluntary transfer" was coined by slain cabinet minister Rehavam Ze'evi to describe a program of encouraging Palestinians to leave the West Bank and Gaza."

Update: The two villages are Al Ramadeen and Abu Farda (in Arabic)

Naomi Shihab Nye: Jerusalem

Jerusalem

Naomi Shihab Nye

Let's be the same wound if we must bleed,
let's fight side by side even if the enemy
is ourselves;and I am yours, you are mine. (Tommy Olofsson, Sweden)

I'm not interested in
Who suffered the most.
I'm interested in
People getting over it.

Once when my father was a boy
A stone hit him on the head.
Hair would never grow there.
Our fingers found the tender spot
And its riddles: the boy who has fallen
Stands up. A bucket of pears
In his mother's doorway welcomes him home.
The pears are not crying.
Lately his friend who threw the stone
Says he was aiming at a bird.
And my father starts growing wings.

Each carries a tender spot:
Something our lives forgot to give us.
A man builds a house and says,
"I am native now."
A woman speaks to a tree in place
Of her son. And olives come.
A child's poem says,
"I don't like wars,
they end up with monuments."
He's painting a bird with wings
Wide enough to cover two roofs at once.

Why are we so monumentally slow?
Soldiers stalk a pharmacy:
Big guns, little pills.
If you tilt your head just slightly
It's ridiculous.

There's a place in this brain
Where hate won't grow.
I touch its riddles: wind and seeds.
Something pokes us as we sleep.

It's late but everything comes next.

Nostalgia II: Shadia and Farid al Atrash

Unfortunately, I no longer remember the name of the film. But this part was always a favorite. The song is by Farid al Atrache and Shadia: "Ya Salam 3ala 7obi w7obek"

When Citizens Become Ghosts

"An Egyptian national can only be a Muslim, a Christian or a Jew. No other religious affiliation is officially admissible." That makes the Baha'is non-existent.

Holocaust Denials

I haven't been agreeing with Azmi Beshara lately (especially with his Al Jazeera speeches), but I like what he says here; the whole article is worth pursuing.

"Tehran can hardly be said to have a tradition of Holocaust studies; the subject does not rate very high in Iranian academic priorities. And a conference in Tehran that was proceeded by a political speech denying the Holocaust cannot be said to be an academic conference; it was a political demonstration, one that harms the Arabs and Muslims and serves only the ultra-right and neo-Nazi forces in Europe and the Zionist movement...

Rape as Metaphor

I don't like using rape as a metaphor, as in "the rape of Palestine" or "the rape of Iraq." As to why, it depends on the context. In this case, Diane Christian argues against calling what's going in Iraq war and wants to call it "rape." Here's what she writes:

"We raped Iraq. We began our action with forced, non-consensual penetration and despoilation of that country. Our Vice President publically imagined they wanted us and would welcome us, would love us and our intentions. Guilt followed, and more delusion, and stubborn refusal to admit the action. So stopping the rape, getting out, is where the figure flags. Rather than withdrawing and taking a shower, we've continued the rape and recast the story."

Excuse me! "Rather than withdrawing and taking a shower?????" What does this say about rape? What understanding of rape does this sentence offer? If only rapists take showers, fewer rapes will take place?

It's a bad metaphor. I wish people will just stop using it.

Nathem al Ghazali: What to Get You...

Iraqi singer Nathem al Ghazali in his masterpiece: "Ayya Shay'en fel 3eed" (What to Get You...)

I'll ruin the poem if I translate it, so a paraphrase will do:

The speaker is wondering what he should give her as a Eid present. He goes through all the possibilities, but rules them out one after another: a bracelet? he doesn't like chains around her wrists. Wines? No wine on earth is as good as what she has in her eyes. Roses? the best is what he smelled on her cheeks...The most precious thing he has is his soul, but that she already has in her hands.

Then he shifts into his other great song "Samra" about his love as a Muslim for a Christian woman.

Film: "Blood Diamond", or, "Heart of Darkness Redux"

I saw "Blood Diamond" recently. Don't worry, I won't spoil the ending. It's about the trading in diamonds from "conflict" zones. In other words, it's about first world complicity in financing wars in Africa. At the end of the movie, a message comes on the screen just in case between your soda and popcorn you may have missed the 'moral' of the story: as a consumer we should insist that the diamonds we buy are conflict free; i.e. not dripping with blood.

Oh, gosh. First I had to chuck out the fur and now the diamonds! Really, a girl has no best friends left in this liberal age.

But I'll bitch about that some other day.

Now, I want to talk about my problem with the way Africa is represented on screen. The message we get from this representation is not that liberal, I don't think. I felt it was a journey into the "heart of darkness." Throughout the film I was sitting at the edge of my seat dreading that at any moment one of the African characters will burst out with "Mista Kurtz, he dead!!"

This is a very violent film. The most horrific scenes are African on African violence. Ok, whites are complicit and they are villains, yet the film is first and foremost a visual medium and visually the scenes that will be remembered, that make an impression, are of black on black violence.

We mainly see two groups of Africans: Africans as brutes against their own people and Africans as victims of their own people. The movie is even self-conscious of the limitation of its victim discourse, when the American journalist who is trying to break the story about European complicity expresses her frustration that she doesn't want to write another victim story. But unfortunately the film doesn't seem able to break away from this paradigm: the African main character, Solomon Vandi (played by Djomoun Hounsou), who is sharing significant screen time with the DiCaprio character is never allowed to be more than a victim. It's hard for him to be convincing in any other capacity when the script hardly gives him any dialogue (compared to chatter box DiCaprio or the American journalist). He is allowed a very limited range of emotion, as opposed to the "hero" DiCaprio who is made into a complex human being. Because Vandi's character is not built up throughout the film, he is not convincing at the end. Ironically, even in his role as a witness, he is not allowed to speak. The film ends at the moment he opens his mouth. But, hey, he was allowed to act in a big one.

As to the obligatory Hollywood love story, it receives an AG on my "Gag Meter" for "Almost Gagged". It's hard for me to be moved by the unfulfilled love or lust of two white people in Africa when the bodies and limbs are piling up for two hours. Romance in the midst of mayhem never worked for me.

Pay Gap Between Men and Women

"Throughout the 1980s and early ’90s, women of all economic levels — poor, middle class and rich — were steadily gaining ground on their male counterparts in the work force. By the mid-’90s, women earned more than 75 cents for every dollar in hourly pay that men did, up from 65 cents just 15 years earlier. Largely without notice, however, one big group of women has stopped making progress: those with a four-year college degree. The gap between their pay and the pay of male college graduates has actually widened slightly since the mid-’90s."

No rush. It's only the 21st century!

Our Women and Theirs

An Israeli woman was asked by a man to move to the back of the bus and when she refused, she was spat on and beaten by him and other men. The bus was not even one of those sex segregated ones.

BTW, we are yet to have those in the West Bank and Gaza. Hopefully, we will never do.

But why am I blogging this story?

1) In solidarity with the woman who was beaten.
2) As a reminder that Israeli women are not all the one blob (the bikini clad blob) that anti-Palestinian propaganda likes to portray, as in this ad below, which was distributed in Atlanta bars a couple of years ago.



caption: : "Free to be themselves, free to dress as they please, free to date who they want, free to drive, free to work, free to choose their own mates, free to study, free to travel abroad without the consent of a male relative, free to lead, free to write and publish, free to make reproductive choices. Just like American women, Israeli women have all of these freedoms. Women in the surrounding Muslim countries are still waiting.


3) The way the story is covered in this report: the woman is not presented as a helpless victim; Othrodox Jewish women are not represented as oppressed beasts of burden. On the contrary, the negative story is used to highlight women's resistance to oppression and patriarchy. After you finish reading it, you don't feel the urge to go out "there" to save some oppressed Jewish women from their brutish Jewish men.

Oh, and her "veil" is only mentioned once. That's why you probably missed it.

Now, can you ever imagine a story reported in a similar way in the American media about a Muslim or Arab woman who is beaten in public by Muslim and Arab men for her violation of their religious law?

And that, not the bikini, makes all the difference.

Fairouz: Sallemli 3aleh

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"Say hello to him from me
And tell him that I say hello
Kiss his eyes
And tell him that I kiss his eyes
You who understand him
Say hello to him from me."

What is More Hellish Than Gaza?

An appeal from the Palestinians in Iraq. (in Arabic)

In the meantime in Gaza, the BBC reports that"Hundreds of Palestinians have rallied outside parliament in Gaza City, urging rival factions to stop violence and restart unity government talks."

To no avail, I should add. The fghting resumed today. But according to al Arabeya, the truce hold, because the latest fighting is between one armed family and Hamas, not between Fateh and Hamas.

Wow. So we now have armed groups, armed militias, armed wings, armed brigades, armed armies, and armed ...FAMILIES!

But no state in sight.

Muslim Beauty Queen

Tataristan (part of the former Soviet Union and an independent republic now, with a majority Muslim population. I had to look that up!) organized a Muslim beauty pageant for the first time to choose a Muslim beauty queen for 2006. The winner was Almira Grivolina, a 22-year old university student (if you ask me which one is she, on the right or left, I'll ban you from this blog). Instead of a crown, she was given a silk veil.The judges were all women and they asked the contestants questions about baby care, cooking, and other household matters. (Darn it! If I knew this would/could/might happen, I'd have payed more attention in my home economics classes! Oh, well.) (in Arabic)

Is this really that different from Miss Universe or Miss Lebanon?

I don't' think so. Same thing, different wrapping.

Which reminds me I have some wrapping to do.

The Color of Blood is Palestinian

"Doctors in Gaza say there is an increasing reluctance on the part of Palestinians to donate blood. A surgeon at Gaza City's main hospital said people do not want to see their donated blood shed in the street as Palestinians kill each other."

Muslim Americans and the Holocaust

"If anyone wants to make Holocaust denial an Islamic cause, we want to say to them: You cannot use our name."

Imam Mohamed Magid of the All Dulles Area Muslim Society

Iranian Students Protest Ahmadinejad

Iranian university students are fed up with Ahmadinejad and are getting more vocal protesting his conservative internal policies and his strident rhetoric against the West. In related news, Iranian reformists have just scored a victory in local elections.

This is an important reminder that not all Iranians are Ahmadinejad and not all Muslims are a blob.

To deal with this internal protest, I'm sure Nejad will heat up his rhetoric against Israel and the West and in defense of Islam.

Feminist Refusenik

An Israeli woman is serving two weeks in jail for refusing to serve in the army because of her anti militaristic feminist principles.

A as in "Apartheid"

Sari Makdisi on why the term "apartheid" applies to Israel:

"Israel maintains two sets of rules and regulations in the West Bank: one for Jews, one for non-Jews. The only thing wrong with using the word "apartheid" to describe such a repugnant system is that the South African version of institutionalized discrimination was never as elaborate as its Israeli counterpart -- nor did it have such a vocal chorus of defenders among otherwise liberal Americans..."

Muslims and the Holocaust

Salma Yacoub explains why it's imperative that British Muslims take part in Holocaust Memorial Day:

"Palestine should not be a reason for boycotting Holocaust Memorial Day, but a reason for participating. As the peace campaigner Uri Avnery, who organised a demonstration against the killing of Palestinian children on last year's Holocaust Memorial Day in Tel Aviv, put it: one of the lessons of the Holocaust is that you must not accept an ideology telling you "that other people are inferior and subhuman" or that loyalty to your country justifies "the occupation of another country and oppression of another people".

Cartoon: Fateh and Hamas Clashes

Suicide Operation!!!

Hamas and Fateh: "You Let go first."

from Al Quds al Arabi

Alternatives

A grassroots campaign is underway in the West Bank and Gaza to collect a million signatures asking Hamas and Fateh to stop the fighting and form a national unity government.

"Do you think my daughter is capable of destroying the wall? A little girl, to be killed and slaughtered by the wall."

"according to the Palestine Monitor, between September 2000 and July 2006, 783 Palestinian children under the age of 18 have been killed by the Israeli army and Israeli settlers. This figure is almost 22% of the total number of Palestinians killed in that time. According to the Palestinian health ministry, 2,660 Palestinian children have been permanently disabled due to Israeli attacks in the same period. Unicef has said that 123 Palestinian children have been killed in 2006, which is more than double the 2005 figure. In Gaza alone, 103 children have been killed. Dan Rohrmann, Unicef's special representative in the occupied Palestinian territory, said: "This has been a tragic year for Palestinians living in Gaza and the West Bank.

"It's been one of the deadliest years that we have seen."

As if the Palestinians Don't Have Enough Problems

If Ayman Al Zawahiri is such an expert on Palestine that every other day now he has to pop up with an opinion (this time to chastise Hamas for being too soft), he should know that in Palestine we have "soil and rock" not "sand." The "grain of sand" reference in his speech should disqualify him from ever speaking about Palestine.

Is This What We're Dying For?

"Haniyah said that Hamas would relinquish the foreign and information ministries, while holding on to the interior and finance portfolios."

Now, I want him to go and say that to the parents of all the civilians who were shot in the past few days. Let's hear what they have to say to that.

Not Impressed

Remember the Peace Now report that Israel stole Palestinian land to build settlements? Not surprisingly, it made no impression whatsoever on the Israeli public. Here's one Isareli columnist's explanation (the writer apparently was impressed by the report):

"Israel's conscience is entirely black. Scandal follows scandal, and today's injustice wipes away yesterday's injustice in our consciousness. Israeli society's heart is so hard when it comes to Palestinians in the territories that it remains unmoved even when confronted with a scene of continuous injustice that strips individuals of their property. ...However, a society that is not shocked by the killing of innocent Palestinians will also not be moved even slightly by the sight of land stolen from any individual Palestinian."

Palestinian Art School

I'm sure one can be cynical and dismiss the Palestinian Art Academy as one of the crumbs of Oslo. Others might see it as a conspiracy to westernize Palestinian society. And a third group may dismiss it as a luxury only the KitKats of Ramallah can afford.

I think it's a good thing.

Cartoon: "Our News Sucks"

From the Palestinian Daily Al Ayyam

Go to Sleep

"Go to sleep, and dream, that our country is now really a country
Go to sleep, since these days a kid can close down a neighborhood
Is this a country? No, it's not a country
it's ....", sang Joseph Saqr about Lebanon, and about Palestine, and about god knows where else. Words and music by Ziad Rahbani (song from Hilal Shouman's odeo)


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Run, Kids, Run!

Do you think they made it?

Afterthought: I just noticed the writing on the wall behind the gunman. It says: "Our martyrs in heaven, and your dead in hell."

Libyan Verdict

A Palestinian doctor and 6 Bulgarian nurses are condemned to death again in Libya. They are accused for intentionally infecting with HIV 400 children in a hospital as part of an experiment they were carrying out on behalf of foreign agents seeking to undermine Islam and Libya. The verdict and the trial have been condemned by international human rights organizations. A new report that was not admitted into court shows that the virus infected the patients before any of the accused went to work in the hospital. Well, the report didn't take into account that the accused could transmit the virus with their ex-ray vision from thousands of miles away.

Ok, I haven't been following this story. But if I'm asked to decide whether the infection happened because of lack of sanitary practices regarding AIDS at the hospital or because of an international conspiracy of foreign agents working to undremine the state and the Umma, I'd go for lack of sanitary practices. What can I say? My imagination was always limited!

Any good news anybody? This blog is getting grim.

Rubinstein: "Preparing for a Civil War"

An interesting piece by Israeli columnist Danny Rubinstein about Fateh's weakness and what lies ahead for it. He makes the point that Fateh is weak because it's diplomatic agenda had failed, thanks to the Israeli governement. This is his conclusion:

"But Israeli governments share a sizable portion of the blame for what happened in the years of the Oslo process. The Oslo Accords were perceived by Israel as a license to expand the settlements in the West Bank and to build new neighborhoods [illegal settlements according to international law Aa] in eastern Jerusalem. The facts are known: The number of residents in the West Bank and eastern Jerusalem doubled during the 1990s. Hamas gained strength not necessarily because the Palestinians have become more religious, but because West Bank residents woke up in the morning and out of their windows, in front of their eyes, they saw more and more fences and roadblocks, and more bypass roads. "I get up in the morning and see my death approaching," wrote a resident of a village near Ramallah.

Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahoud Abbas' success in dealing with Hamas is dependent, therefore, not only on him. Nor is it dependent on American intervention, as some Israelis who welcomed the Baker-Hamilton report think. "President Clinton at Camp David in 2000 was the height of American involvement and we saw what happened," the Palestinian journalist Khader Khader wrote recently. In other words, if the government of Israel does not manage to forge a breakthrough via a diplomatic channel, Abbas and Fatah don't have a chance."

There Are A Million Ways to Die

Meanwhile near the Wall (remember the wall?), a soldier shot at two Palestinian girls 100 meters away, killing one (Du'a Abdel Kader, 14) and injuring the other (Rasha Shalbi, 12). No need to get morally outraged: there will be an investigation.

What Would You Say to Their Mothers?

Three more children were killed today in Gaza caught in the cross fire between armed Palestinian men.

The children were on their way home from school. Schools are closed. They are deemed dangerous for Palestinian kids' health.

Gender Test

An Indian athlete, Santhi Soundararajan, has failed a gender test. Apparently, she passed it once before. I guess it goes to show how accurate these things are. A reporter explains who's involved in a gender test: "athletes were usually examined by a team of doctors, including a gynaecologist, endocrinologist and psychologist, and put through physical and clinical examinations during a gender test."

So we need a whole team to decide if a "woman" is a Woman? I thought it was obvious!

European Muslims

"A question I have heard many times is, 'When are you going back?' I say, 'I was born in Rotterdam so where would I go?' It's a really painful question and makes you feel like a foreigner," a Dutch Muslim woman said in the survey".

The Color of Blood

"We have always heard from Palestinian politicians that Palestinian blood is a red line. It turns out that only the blood has remained red, the lines have long gone."

Walid al-Omari, head of the Al Jazeera office in occupied territories

Arab Prisons

A report by an Arab human rights organization about the violation of prisoners' rights, including the use of turture, in Arab prisons. They have a special section of female prisoners (in Arabic).

Muslims Denounce Holocaust Deniers

"The Holocaust-denial theories aired last week in Iran were denounced by ... sheikhs of the Islamic Movement in Israel."

"Stop Murdering Us, You Criminals"!

Abdallah Awwad writes in Al Ayyam:

" خط أحمر.. وسلاح أصفر
كلكم كذابون، حين تقولون بالدم ـ الخط الأحمر ـ لأنه لا يوجد في جعبتكم غير ثقافة الكراسي التي استبدلتموها بثقافة المقاومة، وصارت الانجازات الوطنية لفصائلنا وقياداتنا، من يشحذ أكثر، ومن يوزع على مرتزقته أكثر، ولأنه أيضاً لا يوجد عندكم سوى ثقافة التعبئة العصبوية الحاقدة ضد بعضكم بعضاً بعد أن استبدلتموها بثقافة التعبئة لمقاومة الاحتلال، وهذا مضمون اجماعكم على التهدئة مع الاحتلال، وبذلك أنتم غير مختلفين على مقاومة الاحتلال وسلاحكم، ليس سلاح مقاومة، بعد أن حولتم المقاومين الى ميليشيات ووجهتم هذا السلاح نحو الداخل تحت ما شاء من العناوين.
أنتم بتعبئتكم العصبوية الحاقدة ضد بعضكم، وبعشقكم للكراسي وباسقاطكم للاحتلال، وبميليشياتكم، وعصاباتكم، دمرتم السلام الاجتماعي والسياسي الداخلي وخلقتم فوضى الفلتان الأمني، والسياسي، والفصائلي، وحولتم حياة الناس الى جحيم بعد أن وصل قتلكم حتى للاطفال، وأخرجتم سلاحكم، لتقولوا هذا سلاح من أجل فرض النظام والأمن الداخلي ومواجهة الفلتان والفوضى فكيف يستوي ذلك يا مجانين؟!.
كيف يمكن للخط الأحمر أن لا يكون في مواجهة السلاح الأصفر، سلاح العصابات المنتشر أكثر من أرغفة الخبز التي يحتاجها الإنسان؟!.

سلاح مقاومة.. أم سلاح قمع وقتل
فصائلنا وقياداتنا، تنفق على شراء السلاح أكثر بكثير مما تنفق على شراء الغذاء والدواء، وهي بذلك تسير على خطى الاتحاد السوفياتي والفرق في النتيجة الأكثر كارثية والتي بدأت مقدماتها الصارخة حاضرة، وكيف يستوي هذا الانفاق مع قرار فصائلنا بالاجماع على التهدئة مع الاحتلال، وعدم اتفاقها على التهدئة فيما بينها؟

Which Side Are You On?

Al Aqsa Marytrs Brigades, the military wing of Fateh (or one of them), joined other military groups in Gaza in denouncing Abbas's speech and call for elections. They denounced Dahlan too. (in Arabic)

Almost at the same time, Dahlan was denoucing Hamas at a rally in Jenin organized by Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades in support of Abbas! (in Arabic)

I guess I'm not the only one who's confused!

Failure of Leadership

"A 19-year-old Palestinian woman was fatally shot in the chest during a gunbattle between the rival Fatah and Hamas movements, medical officials said. The officials said the woman, Hiba Masbah, died from her wounds about an hour after she was shot in central Gaza City - where rival forces were battling in the streets."


The failure of Palestinian leaders from both Fateh and Hamas is astounding. They should all get lost.

Samir Joubran: Ramallah

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Collaborators?

"Amid the growing chaos in the West Bank, [ a Palestinian human rights group] estimates that approximately one person a day is killed having been accused of collaborating. No-one has been arrested following any of these killings and many Palestinians say that the charges are normally false. However, with the breakdown in law and order, the accusation has become the excuse for revenge and bloodletting."

Translating Love

Hiba Kotb (Quotb), the now famous Muslim sexual therapist, who supposedly combines religion and science, gave a lecture in Yemen about "فن صناعة الحب". What the hell is that? Perhaps it's the lame translation of "the art of making love." But it sounds more ...how should I put it..."industrial."

Women in Politics: A First in UAE

Amal al Qubaisi is the first woman elected in the first legislative elections in the United Arab Emirates.

Yesterday in Ramallah

Click on an image to enlarge. All from NYT.

Palestinian Voices

"But don't come and tell me that you are going to release all the prisoners or tear down the wall [Israel's separation barrier] or liberate Jerusalem - I want realistic promises and have modest expectations," says a Palestinian Taxi driver.

For more views on what some non-armed Palestinians are saying about early elections, click here.

Pakistani Women as Beasts of Burden?

This is the provocative title Samina Ali chooses for her opinion piece in The Washington Post about the condition of Pakistani women. She is objecting to the rape laws and to honor killing and other awful practices. But then she makes some problematic generalizations when she claims that in rural areas, women are fed "scarps of food" and in the urban areas they are treated as a social problem and are forced to stay at home after marriage.

As I said in my comment on her post, how you understand her choice of words depends on who she is speaking to and why. In other words, if she's speaking to her countrymen and government, challenging their treatment of women and yelling: "you can't treat us as beasts of burden," I'd say she's courageous and her metaphor is rhetorically effective.

But she's not doing that, is she? She's writing in The Post, not about "us" but about "them." She cannot be including herself in the "beasts of burden" designation because beasts of burdens can't write column in foreign newspapers. Judging by who responded to her post, she, in my opinion, failed rhetorically in her choice of language: she has not told her western readers anything new. They've known all along that Muslim women are "beasts of burden." After reading her article, they just shake their head and shrug their shoulders and, if they are women, thank their lucky stars they are not Muslims or Pakistanis.

The other group who responded to her post consisted of Pakistanis and Muslims. Well, they didn't not like her metaphor and went into defensive mode. Many acknowledged the mistreatment of women, but objected to her generalizations. Some went into super defense mode and denied that Pakistani women suffer any ill treatment.

So I'm sorry to say that Samina Ali's metaphor bumped--as far as the Pakistani women on whose behave she's writing are concerned.

But, hey, she got to write for The Washington Post.

Heated Rhetoric

Among the things Ismail Haniyeh said today in his speech in front of a huge Hamas crowd, this part caught my attention:

وأكد هنية أن فوز حركة حماس في الانتخابات الأخيرة أدخلت المنطقة في معادلة جديدة وخلقت ثلاثة ظواهر وهي محاصرة الشعب الفلسطيني، وهزيمة الجيش الإسرائيلي في لبنان وهزيمة أمريكيا في العراق، مشدداً علي أن حكومته لن تتنازل عن أي شبر من ارض فلسطين.

"Haniyeh emphasized that the Hamas win in the last election thrust the area into a new equation and created three new phenomena: the blockade on the Palestinian people, the defeat of the Israeli army in Lebanon, and the defeat of the US in Iraq..."

If he really said that (and I say if because I haven't heard the speech myself), he'd be suffering from a serious case of megalomania.

Another curious turn of phrase came from Khalil al-Hayya, the head of Hamas's faction in parliament, who, according to Al Jazeera, "told 100,000 of the movement's supporters in Gaza City: "What a war Mahmoud Abbas you are launching, first against God, and then against Hamas."

A war against God? How did Abbas launch a war against God? And who won?

On Narratives

This is a hard story to improvise on.

It's about a Muslim American woman, Fadwa Hamdan, who joins the US army (this is what's the big deal narrative).

Or, it's about the archetypal Muslim Arab woman who escapes her oppressive religion and culture (the escapee narrative).

Or, it's about an oppressed Muslim/Arab woman who is saved by America (saving brown women from brown men narrative).

Or, it's about a disempowered woman who struggles against Arab Patriarchy and American patriarchy to find herself (the feminist narrative).

Or, it's about a woman who wants to be a man, so she joins the army and go around yelling: "“I’m gonna be a shooting man, a shooting man! The best I can for Uncle Sam, for Uncle Sam!” (the get me out of this box and put me in another narrative).

Or, it's about a vulnerable woman who is recruited by the US army because she knows Arabic and had not much of a choice (we don't like army recruiters narrative).

Or, it's about the army is really good for women. It liberates them, you know. (the army as feminist space narrative)

Or, it's about a woman who made a choice and reinvented herself (Be all you can be narrative).

Or, it's about a woman who is used by the American media which "discovers" her then trail her for months, photographing her and documenting her encounters with lowlife family members (e.g. the "film hindi moment" when Fadwa confronts her brother in his store (action), storms out in tears (close up), then reporter enters shop to interview brother (Cut).

Or, it's an informative story about the similarities between Islam and the army: I learned, for example, that in both, women stand in attention, eat separately from men, and with one hand. All of you out there who were raised Muslim and never knew these crucial facts about your religion, you must feel much gratitude for the NYT taking the time to explain your religion to you. Now, subscribe. (It's the Islam by Dummies narrative)

Or, it's really a story about how many times a writer can use the word "hijab" in an essay before this reader slashes her wrist (it's the torture by hijab narrative).

Or, it's a story about a woman who survived arranged marriage, a slimy husband, a loveless life, segregation in Saudi Arabia, the hijab and niqab, polygamy, a father who disowned her, a brother who kicked her out, homelessness, losing her children, an army boot camp but was finally broken by an English test she could not pass (English teachers are the real villains narrative).

It's a sob story.
It's a feel good story.
It's a sob, feel good story.
It's propaganda.
It's a sob, feel good, propaganda story.

It's incomplete: some things don't add up. Too neat. Don't know. (the I-was-burned-by-Norma Khouri's narrative).


It's also a story of a mother who feels she had to give up her children and who misses them. I don't know Fadwa Hamdan. But I don't doubt for a single second that she misses her daughters and that her tears are sincere.

Everything else becomes ... insignificant.

Maybe I'm a sucker. So be it. Call it the sucker narrative.

Stranded, Targeted, and in Limbo

The Palestinians in Iraq. And in general.

Which reminds me of a Mahmoud Darwish poem.

Haniyeh's Homecoming

I doubt Haniyeh will ever leave Gaza again. Not only he had to cut short his first trip abroad as primeminister to attend to the deteriorating security situation in Gaza, he was made to wait at the border for hours before he was allowed in by Israel. Thousands of people went to the Rafah crossing to protest the delay in Hainyeh's re-entry including armed Hamas men, who then exchanged fire with Fateh armed men guarding the terminal. Haniyeh was fired at the moment he emerged from the terminal. He made it home in one piece, but minus the 35 million dollars he collected and his bodyguard, who was shot dead in the firefight with Fateh. Haniyeh's son and his political advisor were injured.

Later Haniyeh said, " we" know who fired at us and we know how to deal with them." Doesn't sound good.

Mahmoud Abbas denounced the shooting. Of course.

The New York Times had a revelation: it writes, "Thursday’s episode demonstrated Israel’s ability to shut down the border even when its security forces are not present." No kidding!

Here's an update on the assassination of the three children: an arrest was made of a member of the Executive force that answers to hamas's interior minister Sa'eed Siyam. Immediately, a Fateh intelligence officer was kidnapped by a group that belongs to the Popular Resistance Committees (now we have groups within committees within wings within brigades). Their purpose is to exchange the kidnapped Fateh man with the arrested Hamas man.

The nightmare continues. ( read more in Arabic and English)

Impoverishing the Palestinians

" It is much easier for the Western countries to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to subsidize food that Israel is not allowing the Palestinians to produce and purchase themselves than it is to cause Israel to stop behaving as though it stands above international law," concludes Amira Hass in an article about Israel's economic strangulation of the West Bank and Gaza.

A Chilly Season for Blogs?

John McCain is introducing legislation to tighten the noose on blogs. He apparently doesn't care much for the comments section. Read more at Thinkprogress here.

Oh, well. It was good while it lasted.

Homosexualizing Food

A reader of this blog posted a link to such an amazing article that I'd hate for it to be buried in the comments sections. So here it is. (thanks anonymous)

We always somehow knew that tofu is a sissie food, right? And we always had our suspicions that something was not right with those vegetarians. As to vegans, well, what can I say! A very sad lot indeed!

The difference is now all our suspicious are proven right. Scientific evidence shows that soy causes homosexuality. So it's simple folks: if you don't want to be homosexuals, don't eat soy. If you want to be homosexuals, consume as much as you can. How much depends on how fast you want to be transformed into a homosexual, and on what kind of a homosexual you want to be. It's a tricky formula that scientists are still developing.

Carter's Troubles

Poor Carter. If this is happening to him, the architect of the Camp David agreements, what would happen to ordinary folks who speak up! But I guess this is the moral of the story: don't you dare!!!!

Update: Carter interviewed by Riz Khan.

Male Circumcision to Fight AIDS

"Circumcising African men may cut their risk of catching AIDS in half, the National Institutes of Health said today as it stopped two clinical trials in Africa, when preliminary results suggested that circumcision worked so well that it would be unethical not to offer it to uncircumcised men in the trials."

Read More.

Khuloud Tourky: An Amazing Athlete

Kuloud Tourky is an amazing athlete. She is a Palestinian who grew up in Australia. She's an Olympic gold medalist in diving. Please read more about her here. You will be really impressed by this young woman's determination and achievement. A real inspiration.

(thanks Rabee for finally sharing the information about your sister)

Sahar Khaliefeh: Winner of Mahfouz Prize

The Palestinian novelist Sahar Khaliefeh won the Naguib Mahfouz literary price for her novel Soura, Wa Ayquouna, wa 3ahd Qadeem (A Picture, an Icon, and an Old Promise). The novel tells of a love story between a Muslim Palestinian man and a Christian Palestinan woman in Jerusalem under occupation. An impossible love. A lost love. All that good stuff. As if a Palestinian love story could have any other ending. (read more in Arabic)

I'll write a review of the novel later, but I was a bit surprised at the choice. The politics of the Naguib Mahfouz prize is getting quite interesting. I would love to know more how books get nominated, who is on the panel, and what the criteria are. Sounds like a good research project, doesn't it?

We May not Have a State, But We Do Have Death Squads!

"KHAN YOUNIS, Gaza Strip -- Palestinian gunmen forced a Hamas commander to his knees and fatally shot him early Wednesday outside of the courthouse where he worked as an Islamic judge, escalating factional tensions in the Gaza Strip....Witnesses to the shooting said four gunmen calmly ate breakfast at a food stand as they waited for al-Fara outside the courthouse. When he emerged from a taxi, three of the men grabbed him and forced him onto his knees, while the fourth pulled out a weapon and shot him. The attack left the sidewalk riddled with bullet holes. The witnesses declined to be identified, fearing for their safety."

As a result of this mess, Ismail Haniyeh decided to cut short his month-long trip abroad, his first ever as a Prime Minister (I always feel silly typing these inflated titles), and get back to attend to the deteriorating situation in Gaza. He was heard saying under his breath: "Ya far7a ma tammat." (translation: I never get to have any fun!)

Ask Shadid About Lebanon

Anthony Shadid, The Washington Post Middle East correspondent, is in Lebanon and will be answering questions live on line today at 12:00 noon (Empire time; otherwise known as US Eastern Time).


Update: You can read the questions and answers here.

A National Disgrace!!!

"A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India."

About another Indian disgrace, sexual harassment there is called eve teasing! How cute! It's common and can be pretty aggressive. Do you think there is any connection between disgrace # 1 and disgrace # 2?

More Gender Equity, Less Poverty

A new study shows the more power women have in the family, the better the health of the children and the overall condition of of the family. In other words, gender equity is an effective way to fight poverty.

On Najad's Holocaust Conference

So Ahmadinajad had his holocaust conference and got to play intellectual for a couple of days! This was his answer to the West's defense of the Danish cartoons as free speech. What a guy! He really advanced the dialogue between East and West with his choice of topic. I'd give him an A for Asshole.

Guess who showed up among the "intellectuals" in Tehran? David Duke. Remember him? He's a former Ku Klux Klan leader is now a Louisiana Republican representative (why, Louisiana, why?). He had this to say:

"There must be freedom of speech, it is scandalous that the Holocaust cannot be discussed freely,...It makes people turn a blind eye to Israel's crimes against the Palestinian people."

Now, with friends like these, why do the Palestinians need enemies? As if he gives a damn about crimes against Palestinian people and as if to denounce these crimes you need to be a holocaust denier. I'd put it simply: Duke, go to hell. We don't need your trash.

Hassan Khader, a Palestinian columnist put it better than me. Writing a column in the Palestinian daily Al Ayyam on the nutjobs gathered in Tehran, he makes it clear that he thinks its a bad and disgraceful idea. You can read the whole thing here (in Arabic). Here is my translation of his conclusion:

" The holocaust is a fact that must be accepted. There is much evidence to prove it and there is no point in questioning. ...But the problem has been in the political uses to which the holocaust is put. The European right is questioning the Holocaust in its attempt to rehabilitate an ideology that killed millions of people and became bankrupt in mainstream Europe. Israel uses the holocaust to justify its colonial policy and occupation, insisting, especially in the US through its supporters, that any anti colonial and anti occupation stand is anti Semitic. The fundamentalists too, Arab, Iranian and others, try to use the holocaust in a battle that they see as a clash of civilizations. It's a battle that is being fed every day with new reasons that strenghen it. So it seems as inevitable as it is absurd and tragic ...Because its results are going to be a disaster for Arabs and Muslims, which does not enter Mr. Najad's academic preoccupations."

Beyond the conference, but still in Tehran, pro-reform students chanted anti Najad's slogans at a university where he was speaking. They called him a fascist dictator. (in Arabic)

Run, Women, Run!

Ruqaya al Ghasara, a Bahraini women, won a gold medal in the 200 meters race at the Asian Games. The first for a Bahraini woman. Mabrouk ya Ruqaya. Congratulations.

I can't tell you much about Ruqaya: I know nothing about her winning time, her training regiment, her ambitions, or her background. But I can tell you about her hijab. Al Jazeera reports:

"Wearing an Islamic hijab the 24-year-old passed both the vastly experienced Susanthinka Jayasinghe of Sri Lanka and 100m titleholder Guzel Khubbieva to break the tape and swiftly fell to her knees and kissed the ground.

She said that there was no handicap to her in running in the traditional dress. "I have no problems with the hijab," said Al Ghasara, who showed her talent in winning the West Asian 100m title last year also in Doha. "I have a great desire to show that there are no problems with wearing these clothes. Wearing a veil proves that Muslim women face no obstacles and encourages them to compete in sport."

I doubt it that Ruqaya volunteered these comments about the hijab the moment she crossed the finish line. She must have been asked about it. I can imagine the reporters:

"So, Ruqaya, is the hijab a handicap? "
"Does the hijab slow you down?"
" Does the hijab prevent you from seeing the finish line?"
"Does the hijab obscure your peripheral vision?"
" Does the hijab block your hearing a bit, which might explain what we thought was a hesitant start?"
"Aren't you afraid that the hijab may slip off your head in the middle of a race?"
"Aren't you worried the hijab might trip you?"
"Do you use special anti-friction material for your racing hijab?"
"How do you reconcile the gold medal with the hijab?"

Sana' Bakheet, a Palestinian 800 meter runner

Osama, Ahmed, Salam

"I asked Osama to give me a towel to clean the blood from my head, but he didn't respond."

"The children's schoolbooks were out of their satchels so maybe they had been reading in the car."


"تقول ليندا: "أنا لا أحمل المسؤولية لأي فصيل فلسطيني، بل أحمل المسؤولية للمجتمع الفلسطيني بأكمله، الذي يقف صامتاً أمام قتل أطفال فلسطين كل يوم برصاص الفرقة والصراع على المراكز والمواقف من أجل لا شيء"

The mother: "I don't hold one particular Palestinian faction responsible. I hold all of Palestinian society responsible for remaining silent while Palestinian children are getting killed everyday by the bullets of division and struggle over positions for nothing."

Demonstrating to Protect Rapists

Thousands of Pakistani Islamists demonstrated in the streets of Karachi against Musharraf's decision to cancel the rape law that requires a raped woman to produce four male witnesses to prove that she was raped. According to this law, the woman's failure to do so can result in her being tried for adultery. The dmonstrators objected that an "Islamic" law is being cancelled and expressed their fear that Pakistan, as a result, is becoming a "free sex zone." (in Arabic)

When Che Met Sayed

An article from The Wall Street Journal on the alliance between leftists and Islamists.

You an call it the "my enemy's enemy is my friend" theory of international relations. Come to think of it, such unholy alliance makes sense, only if you have one item on your agenda, which seems to be the case for many leftists these days. Organizations like Hizballah, however, have multi-item agendas. But, hey, who cares. They won, and everybody loves a winner. Especially losers.

God Has No Pity on School Children. Not in Gaza

"Gunmen in Gaza City opened fire Monday on the car of a senior Palestinian intelligence official, killing three of his children and the driver as he was dropping them off at school....Balousha's three sons ranged in age from 6 to 9 years old. Two other children were also wounded." (in Arabic here: with graphic pictures)

Update: Al Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade issued a statement saying killing the children is crossing all red lines and calling on all military wings to "strike with an iron hand." (Arabic)

So a military group is calling on all other military groups to strike militarily in response to the gunning down of children on their way to school! That's exactly what Gaza needs, more action by military wings and thighs!!!!! As if that isn't THE Problem.

Not only that, but during the funeral, there were lots of firing of guns in the air to protest this incident.

وقد شيع الآلاف من الفلسطينيين جنازة القتلى الأربعة في موكب جنائزي كبير وسط مشاعر من الغضب والسخط الشديدين ووسط إطلاق النار الكثيف في الهواء استنكارا وتنديدا بهذه الحادثة.

.Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. In fact, I wish I could just go crazy

Arranged Marriage to Counter Terrorism

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Al Sharq al Awsat reports that the Yemeni government fights terrorism by... arranging marriages for the captured terrorists. (in Arabic)

According to the head of Yemeni intelligence, speaking recently at a conference, this is proving an effective counter terrorism technique because marriage provides the terrorists with the familial and social stability that they need in order not to return to their old bad ways.

Nothing like a wife to break a man.

Come to think of it, using the venerable institution of marriage in this way can even discourage terrorists from becoming terrorists to begin with. What is scarier for a man than the prospect of a wife at the end of the road? The thought alone should bring him to his non-terrorist sense.

As to the rehabilitators, nothing is said about where and how the government recruits them for this impressive mission. Do they put ads in the local papers saying "Wives for Terrorists Needed? Those interested please submit a passport size picture with a "shahadet 7uson sulouk" ("good behavior" certificate)?

Or maybe they use the more personal approach, most favored by most governments.

Maybe they say "Ya binti (daughter), zel ragel wala zel 7eta" (translation: being in the shadow of a man is better than being in the shadow of a wall. An even better translation: a man, even a convicted terrorist, is better than no man." (I just noticed how close the Arabic word for "Shadow" is to the Arabic word for "humiliation"? hummm).

Or maybe they use the national argument with her: "Ya Ukhti (sister), this is your duty in the service of our great nation. Do it and a poem or two will be written about you."

Or maybe they use the honest, straightforward approach: "Marry him or else."

I don't know. The article, you see, doesn't say. Which might explain why I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Not enough data is provided for me to react properly.

So maybe I'll sing with Ella


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